THIS BODY SHAMING MUST STOP!

Sometime this week, I went to get lunch from my office canteen. Now I don’t usually go there for lunch however I was conscious of my crippling workload and decided to skip hanging with the group, grab a baguette and eat at my desk.

All the girls at the canteen are lovely but I’ve taken to a particular one – she’s Mexican, has a teenage son, been married twice and has vowed never to have more children [that’s how deep our relationship is] so when she said to me “oh you are pregnant again?” I didn’t take offence.

However it brought me back 4 or so years back in 2014. We had just relocated from Ireland to the U.K. and my friend’s nanny God rest her soul uttered the exact same words, thinking we moved countries because we were expecting baby number 2.

Gosh how that statement affected me! I stood in front of the mirror and evaluated how much I had gained weight, I had got so sucked into parenthood that I forgot about my wellbeing. Then I started looking for a ‘quick fix’ – detoxing, juicing, maple syrup diet, I even bought a waist cincher to help reduce my mummy flab but nothing worked. Infact one of the days I had the cincher on at work and I suddenly felt faint, I took it off as soon as I reached the bathroom and felt better soon afterwards. The fainting episodes got worse each day to the point that I couldn’t walk down the hill around our flat without feeling faint! Then I started having palpitations, at this point I went to see the GP, they ran all the possible tests – including white blood cell count and ECG but they found nothing. It turned out that I was experiencing extreme fatigue 😳

The move to a new country coupled with a really stressful and long work commute {story for another day} and nursery/crèche runs plus the pressure to lose weight meant I was completely burnt out by the end of that year.

The following year, I bought Shaun T’s Insanity workout DVD’s and started working on changing my mindset about my body. This was a healthier option as it gives a formula to calculate the number of calories I could eat a day plus the workout, it made me understand ‘calorie deficiency’ a bit better. It also came with sample menus and advice on how to pair food. The workouts are like 20mins each so I could fit them into my crazy schedule. By summer 2015 I started to get a toned body.

Two years after my transformation and I’m back at that point again – where someone has decided to point out my flaws, unintentionally placing pressure on me to look a certain way. She did apologise for making an assumption and tried to justify it by saying someone else she knew had come back from maternity leave with another pregnancy 😒 yeah yeah

The difference this time is I know what to do to get my body back in shape note I didn’t say back to pre-preggo bod , the kind of food to eat and steps to take. So those words didn’t hurt me.

I really can’t fault her because there is no way for her to know the intense pressure I’ve been under recently. I’ve back to work now 3 months after maternity leave ended, have had two nannies within the first two months and have had to find alternative childcare for both kids [childminder and wraparound care at school]. Coupled with leaving work early to pick the kids up, house chores and catching up with my workload, my well-being is taking a back seat again. But it’s not the end of the world and it is my battle not yours.

Social media also adds to pressure consciously or unconsciously placed on women to look a certain way after childbirth girl! I just had a freaking baby! Yes it was 13months ago, the child has teeth and is walking but it took me 39weeks to grow that little human so imma take my time, thank you very much. And yes I know some women out there are killing it despite having to juggle more things than I do but we all have different mental capacities to handle different aspects of our lives.

I think my point really is we need to stop and ask ourselves, before making such assumptions and statements about other females – what could they be going through? Sleep deprivation? Childcare palava, work issues? (to name a few). If you consider these, then you will find that the better option is to keep your gob shut and let that woman be fat!

Until next time my lovelies, stay fabulous 😘😘

Fabmomma♥♥