As I approach week 4 of returning to work, I reflect back on the past 3weeks. Though I’m a little settled into working mum patterns -commuting, checking on the nanny 10 times a day, bedtime routine etc I have to admit that I sometimes miss those long (sometimes short) days of maternity leave, being able to do fun things with both girls on the spur of the moment. Also the guilt of missing milestones sometimes creeps in…
I’m tempted to moan about the things I didn’t get to do for myself but I did a lot of that already on my instagram/instastory 😂 Besides I want to keep the beautiful memories of spending quality time with girls – our goofing around, play dates and soft play adventures for my older daughter and swimming, massage and sensory classes for the baby. I even got to imbibe some of my culture in them (Yoruba nursery rhymes from CultureTreeTV played a big part).
So back to the purpose of this post. My first week back to work was uneventful, the second week however was a little different. It started off with me feeling really tired and low. We had a super busy weekend with the big girl having her end of year production at Stagecoach on Saturday and then gymnastics championships on Sunday.
Then the baby got sick during the night, she finally fell asleep around 2am but decided to have an early start at 5am! It was a struggle to get ready – I made zero effort with my outfit and hair (managed to slap on foundation, eye liner and lipstick though😆) Despite all these, I got into the office just a few minutes past 9am.
Midday, a colleague reached out to me, she was interested in knowing how I was coping with working full time with two young children. “do you leave them with family or a nanny?” She asked; I almost burst out crying as I told her my baby now calls her nanny ‘mama’. I really did not mean to put that on her but the mom-guilt was so overwhelming! It was definitely the worst day for me😭
I even tried to flashback to the previous week when I felt hyped for getting a break from the kids but it didn’t help (I even did a DITL on my YouTube channel on my first day back to show you how hyped up I was lol). Watch below👇🏽
I did eventually get over that sad feeling later in week after I attended a networking event. It runs every other month and is organised by PepNetwork for black females; I got to meet some amazing women who shared war stories as working mommas (with businesses on the side) and that really inspired me to get my heads above the clouds…
A huge salute to all mothers out there! WAHMs, SAHMs, single mothers, working mothers and any other classification of motherhood there is! You are not alone….
Yours truly
Fabmomma ♥
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